In fact, to those of us who have lived this fucked up life without any kind of love ever, and no one understands you, that THC is the only thing that allows some of us to survive

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Since revealing this on the podcast where I blew up my life in 2018, I don't hide what I do. It still helps me out. These days I still sometimes struggle with being completely alone in my life. I remember why I feel like I had and still have no choice but to remain alone. Whenever I'm not high enough for whatever reason, be it because I need to ration what I got left until the next payday or I still have to make my newest batch, the sadness magnifies. That's how I know it's time to reup if I can. When I have sufficient edibles, I become a different animal who can take on anything. More at peace on the inside, but realizing that my life has been all fucked up and I'm still fucking standing! 

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It also helps fuel my creativity for what I'm looking to do with the next part of my life

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I don't smoke anything to this day because I've never wanted to smoke. I don't even like dating women who smoke cigarettes (although I don't mind her smoking weed, whatever, this is my fucking preference). So for decades, I thought the only way to get high was to smoke it

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Back in 2014 is when I first got introduced to edibles. I w,as 35 years old, and I had gotten a very painful infection going down like the crack of my ass (hey, it happened people). The urgent care doctor had to drain it three different times a few days apart. Draining it, of course, meant literally cutting it open. The whole thing was extremely painful 24 hours a day. The doctor had given me prescription pain killers, but you know how that goes. These doctors are always so fucking concerned you're going to get addicted to the meds, that sometimes they seem to under-prescribe as a cautionary measure. So, day one, the meds worked fine. By day two, my ass was like "what else you got?"

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I relayed all of this to my daughter's mother, as at that time we were still on good terms with each other. She had been diagnosed with severe Multiple Sclerosis just a couple of years prior, so she already had a rec letter and was already partaking in the plants. She decided to bring me the last of this juice she had. In excruciating pain, I was willing to try anything. It was about a quarter of the bottle left and she poured the remainder of the bottle into a cup "on the rocks" for me

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I drank it and it was the nastiest shit I have ever had in my life. I still to this day hate the weed taste. But there are things you can do to make it tolerable, because the effects are out of this world

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When I tell y'all that about an hour later, I not only didn't feel an ounce of pain, but as I laid on my back in my bed (which I could now do thanks to that juice), I saw muthafucking unicorns and rainbows and shit on the ceiling of my room, and it. was. wonderful! I became a big fan after that. But because I hated the taste, I needed to do something that would help me mask it

 

So.....well, I started mixing it with Vodka. The vodka would mask the nasty taste of the juice. But now I've got two "enhancers" in my system. And when they combined, it is absolutely the best high I've ever experienced. Part high, part drunk.....I called it getting "dry" (or drigh, combining getting drunk and getting high). And I became hooked​​

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These days I rarely drink alcohol, and when I do it's never the hard stuff anymore. Only wine. Sometimes I get drigh off of edibles and wine, but not a lot. It's not, but it's not as nice as the original drigh was

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Now, back at the end of 2022, I agreed to pay child support that I didn't agree with for my daughter just to get my life back. With them taking payments out every paycheck like clockwork, gone were the days of spending $300 per paycheck at the dispensary, just to get me enough stuff to last until my next paycheck. Plus, you know the edibles they have at the dispensary are always unhealthy and really high in sugar. Even when they have specials, it's always on the bad shit. Like, here buy this extra sugary candy and get another extra sugary candy for a penny (lol they kill me at the dispensaries with that penny. Offering it for free would apparently bad weed business)

 

Also, when I did my lab work earlier this year, my A1C numbers were elevated again for the first time in years. I had been eating the sugary edibles all willy nilly, and because I had started struggling with where my life is again, I reverted back to drinking the hard stuff for about three months and didn't work out at all during that time. I have one of those doctors who panics at every lab test. So, I knew it would behoove me to make some changes again and quickly

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I resumed working out, have eliminated hard liquor from my consumption completely, and stopped eating junk food, relegating that to maybe once per pay period. For my edibles, I found a cannabis infused coconut oil recipe online (that I'll share with you all here, you're welcome). Then all I had to do was find healthier baking recipes that required oil as one of its ingredients. I could simply replace the oil in the recipe with my cannabis infused coconut oil, and voila, I've got relatively healthier (although still not completely healthy) edibles

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After trying a oouple of different things that didn't really work for me (the main one is eating the coconut oil by itself, holy fuck that shit is unbearable by itself), I finally found the one that works perfectly for me on so many levels

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