And the Stupidity of These Criminals Just Keeps on Giving Back

I am so glad I have this website outlet to share this shit with y'all. This dumb ass criminal story takes place in Florida. Of course it does. The headline of this one:

Florida Woman Calls the Cops as She's Stealing a Car

Lmfao! The fuck?

Oh, I'm definitely reading this shit. Not only did I find the story itself entertaining, but I totally approved of all the author's (Steven Symes) smart ass comments. The first paragraph:

Some criminals apparently care about doing everything by the rules, otherwise we don’t have an explanation for why a female car thief in Florida called the cops on herself. This is right up there with the drunk driver who called 911 to report a drunk driver and other dumb criminals.

Hahaha, right? Here are some of the details

The woman in question, 37-year-old Christy Turman, reportedly was in the process of stealing a car from a dealership in Tampa, Florida when she called 911 so she “could do it legally” says Lee County Sheriff’s Office. Ahhhahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahahaha so wait, she wasn't even trying to steal a car from off the street. She's actually trying to steal a car from a fucking dealership?!! Oh this is comedy gold

Last we checked, the only legal way to “steal” a car was to be a repo man taking collateral for the bank. But this Florida woman apparently thought calling 911 and filing a report made taking a vehicle that isn’t hers okay. Aww this is great. I'm in real tears

Big shock, it isn’t.

Now we don’t know if this lady has a few screws loose, ohhh yes you do. You sir are being politically correct here was under the influence of some substance, or what was going on. I think both But the fact that she was at a dealership with all kinds of cars available to steal (apparently legally in her mind) that she stole a Toyota Corolla is quite concerning.

If you’re going to steal a vehicle, which we don’t endorse, at least make it worth the consequences! LMMFAO!!! I did not know she was stealing a Corolla. HAHAHAHA BACK TO FLOOR I GO! This lady is dumb as a bucket of pickles

Apparently, Turman told deputies she stole the car because she was training for a game of Black Ops HAHAHAHAHA I can't take anymore lmfao! Y'all just need to read this shit for yourself. I'm done!